Farm Chronicles: It’s too damn early for this!


I manage to keep most wildlife outside of the house where it can be observed but not interacted with. I prefer it this way. I love to watch wild animals but I don’t want them touching my stuff.

So imagine my surprise @ 630 this morning when I found the huge bastard of a frog on the wrong side of my bedroom window.

The room was mostly dark but I noticed the silhouette on my way to the bathroom. I realized that I was seeing a whole tree frog instead of its underside. It would have to go.

I pulled the covers over Gabbys head and turned on the light. I grabbed a solo cup intending to trap it and release it.

It was patient enough to wait in the same spot.

When I made my move, all hell broke loose.

I forgot that frogs pee when they are scared

It pissed down the window pane, then hilarity ensued as I chased it around the room and across my bed. It jumped to walls and furniture. It made nasty smacking noises each time it landed on a hard surface. This was accompanied by a chorus of barks from the dogs and and encouragement from Gabby who had not actually been asleep.

When I finally caught the thing, I took it outside the front door to release it. Accompanied by Gabby and the puppy, I gave the frog its freedom with well wishing and encouragement.

I forgot that I now have two cats. The cats bring us daily gifts. We have gotten dragonflies, a small brown snake, and various… frogs.

As soon as I released the frog, the cats came out of nowhere and went nuts on the porch trying to hunt the thing. I don’t know how it ended but the frog, the cats, and a dog ended up under the house. I listened for a moment and then closed the door on the cacophony of barks, growls, and hisses under my feet.

Breakfast wasn’t gonna make itself.


Yolanda McGee View All →

An escape from the suburbs and corporate America spawned a journey into rural living. Writer, wife, mother, and local chicken lady, join me as I fail, fail, fail! and learn along the way.

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