Farm Chronicles: He came in like a wrecking ball


There is one rooster in my flock that does not get along with anyone. He can’t crow so he just sits around doing this awkward scream every time I come into the coop. None of the hens will mate with him, none of the other roosters respect him, and he just barrels high speed through the flock with no regard, causing chaos. His name is Paul Russell.

Paul is just a dick. I didn’t like him from day one. He has never attacked me but he’s just so rude during feeding time screaming in my face and being useless. Hopping and skipping about like he’s on meth or some shit. I really dislike this bird.

So today, I needed to move some hens to a different pen. I could have waited until night time but screw that. It’s cold.

I caught the first hen no problem. But the flock was wise to my shenanigans and they became wary and defensive. Most of the chickens just ran about like normal, ducking and dodging.

This Paul asshole decides to take flight in the middle of all this. From the top of the roost mind you, screaming like a bitch the whole way. And he shit on my shoe.

I saw the shadow and threw up an arm to block my head. He hit me hard but I kept my feet. I have couple of scratches. No real harm I’m just annoyed with this useless bird. I hate his face.


Yolanda McGee View All →

An escape from the suburbs and corporate America spawned a journey into rural living. Writer, wife, mother, and local chicken lady, join me as I fail, fail, fail! and learn along the way.

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